Confidence is a Skill (And How to Build It)
Confidence according to a wardrobe stylist
We tend to talk about confidence like it’s something you’re born with—or just magically wake up possessing one day.
But here’s what I’ve learned, both through styling hundreds of clients and living my own very human life:
Confidence is a skill.
It’s a muscle you build, day by day, choice by choice.
And just like any skill, it needs practice.
Why it matters for your wardrobe (and your life)
You can spot someone who doesn’t feel confident from a mile away.
It shows up in slouched posture, in a timid smile, in how often they tug at their clothes or apologize for their presence.
It also shows up in your closet.
It’s the difference between someone who wears what they love, versus someone dressing to hide or simply to blend in.
If you don’t feel confident in your own skin, it’s nearly impossible to feel fully confident in your outfits—no matter how expensive or trendy they are.
So how do you build confidence?
(Not just for style, but for everything.)
Here’s what I tell my clients—and practice myself.
1. Be proud of your own body (yes, exactly as it is)
Stop waiting for some “after” version of yourself to show up.
The only body you have is the one you’re in right now—and it deserves to be dressed in clothes that make you feel incredible today.
Don’t default to hiding under shapeless or oversized things if it’s not intentional. Try clothes that skim and flatter your shape, not drown it.
And please, celebrate the parts you love: your strong legs, your gorgeous shoulders, your radiant face.
(Hint: I promise there are way more amazing things about your body than you give it credit for.)
2. Surround yourself with people who build you up
Confidence grows in community.
If you’re constantly around people who critique, compete, or belittle, you’ll never feel fully yourself.
Instead, seek out friends, partners, coworkers—anyone—who see you, hype you up, and remind you of how great you already are.
It makes trying new things (in style and in life) so much easier.
3. Start with small style risks
Confidence compounds.
Try a statement necklace. A bold lip. A slightly more tailored pair of pants than you’d normally wear.
Each small risk builds evidence that you can do it, that nothing bad happens, and that you probably look even better than you thought.
Do that enough times and you’ll be wearing whatever the hell you want—because you know you can pull it off.
4. Keep a little list of why you’re amazing
This sounds cheesy, but hear me out.
Next time you’re having a day when self-doubt creeps in, pull out your list. It could be:
• you’re a loyal friend
• you make the best coffee
• your eyes sparkle when you laugh
• you’re good at your job
• you’ve survived hard things
It’s hard to feel small when you’re reminded of how much there is to love.
5. Remember: Confidence is a choice, too
A lot of times, the biggest shift is simply deciding to show up like the best version of yourself.
You might not always feel it first—but acting “as if” is one of the fastest ways to start embodying it.
(And yes, the right outfit helps. Because when you feel good in what you’re wearing, you stand a little taller, smile a little wider, and start to genuinely believe it.)
Bottom line?
Confidence isn’t just something you have.
It’s something you build, style by style, day by day, choice by choice.
And trust me, you’re already more amazing than you give yourself credit for.
Want me to do a follow-up with my favorite “confidence-building” outfits and formulas? Drop a comment or send me a note—I’d love to create that for you. 💌
xoxo,
✔️Apply to work with me. My signature process will transform your style in just two sessions. I've helped tons women identify and bring their style to life all while saving them 10's of hours and $1000 of dollars each season.
❓WHAT DID YOU THINK...
Was this helpful? Did you share it with a friend? Was it awful? Your feedback means the world to me and my team! Hit reply and let us know.