I wanted to feel confident every time I walked into a room, at work, at a dinner, anywhere, and know that my style was saying exactly who I was without hesitation.
But the reality? It often felt like the opposite.
The frustrations of dressing didn’t just appear on weekends. Dressing for work was another ballgame entirely. I’d stand in front of my closet in the morning, staring at rows of blazers and blouses, thinking, “None of this feels right. None of it feels like me.” And would resort to the same combination day after day. The stress of making the right impression, fitting into expectations, and still wanting to feel authentic, it was exhausting.
Then there was that birthday. My friend’s 30th. I had tried on nearly everything in my closet, left my room in a mess, and still didn’t feel right. When the group photo was taken, I slipped to the back row, hiding behind taller friends. Seeing that photo the next morning hit me like a ton of bricks.
I realized I didn’t want to spend my life trying to find the best place to hide. I wanted to show up fully, confident, polished, and unapologetically myself.
That frustration, the fear of being overlooked, judged, or invisible, isn’t just a personal problem. It’s professional too. So many women I work with tell me they feel stuck between being respected and being themselves. They worry about being taken seriously at work, being seen as too bold, or looking like they’re trying too hard. I’ve been there too, in client meetings, and big presentations, constantly wondering if my clothes were helping me or holding me back.
And that’s exactly why …